Not a Father's Day

I leave for Teacher for America Induction tomorrow afternoon. Even though I only live 2.5 miles away from Marquette's campus, I have to live in a Marquette dorm from Tuesday-Saturday. I think it's a bit silly, but I've been biting my tongue and dealing with it. I understand that TFA wants us to be a part of the Corps Member community, and I understand that completely.

I will, however, miss Chris and Smokey so much. I figured out last night when I couldn't sleep that, since we've been engaged (so roughly two years), we have only been apart for 10 nights. 10 nights! And now here's another 5 to add to that number.

But, even more than that, I am most worried about TFA Institute. Institute is an intense 5 week program in Chicago, which means I will be away from Chris and Smokey for 5 weeks. Oddly, I am not worried about how busy I will be or how much work I will have to do (I will be teaching summer school to inner-city children--- I know it won't be easy!), but I am worried about how much I will miss my two boys back home. They're kind of my whole world, and I just don't feel like myself when I am away from them. From what I have read, I should be able to go home on weekends, even though they don't recommend it--- but it's certainly not disallowed. I aim to go home every weekend, even if I have to spend my entire weekend doing prep work.

However, I'm also worried because... well... Institute starts on Sunday. Go check your calendar and figure out what holiday is on Sunday. Yup, that's right, I begin this incredibly stressful journey on Father's Day. On my first Father's Day without a father. And, honestly, all I want to do is call my dad and talk about how nervous I am (how much blood I am shitting, as we would say) and I to receive a text from him that says simply "kick ass 2day."

I'll try to kick ass, Daddy. But it would be so much easier if you were here to tell me to.